Message From Sensei

12/16/01

We hear about many forms of meditation as we strive to learn how to improve our lives. It is important to realize that in order for your meditation practice to work (that is, to serve it's stated goal), it must be founded on solid principles. These are varied depending on what your desired outcome may be. All useful meditation is based on posture and focus. The basics of posture require a straight, open spine. The pelvis should be tilted forward at the top. The chest should be open and raised. The shoulders should be back a little and square. The head should be raised and tilted very slightly downward. This degree and angle of posture for each individual is different and is based on feel. This feel takes time and practice to develop and is based on results. I spent years meditating, practicing martial arts, and playing the trumpet to develop my posture for meditation and for moving.

Focus is the major aspect of meditation that all teachers talk about. The "mantra" can be anything (only one at a time, please!), such as a sound, a visual item (like a mandala), or the breathing. There are many ways to breathe and many, many misconceptions as to the proper way of breathing. In Ki-Works, we do "kokyu zazen" meditation. "Kokyu" means breath in Japanese. We use a certain way of breathing that allows us to increase our energy, health, and power. "Zazen" means seated meditation. Consistent and proper practice in kokyu zazen meditation will bring amazing results to anything that you do which needs air to make it work.

In future Messages, I will delve more into the aspects of meditation, along with a discussion of what results the various types of meditation are going to produce. Strange as it may seem, some forms of meditation can make you dull and listless, or arrogant. Some have no effect at all, except for making your teacher money.

12/18/01

In any art, it is important to "master" the basics. In music, you must first learn how to produce a sound on your instrument. Then you must learn to play different notes, scales, chords, melodies, loud and soft, and all of the subtle nuances that make up music. In the martial arts, you must first learn how to form a stance, how to move from stance to stance, how to kick, how to punch, how to put basic moves together to form a kata, how to work with a partner, and all of the subtle nuances that make up the martial art. In painting, you must first learn how to hold your brush, how to mix colors, how to make the various brushstrokes, how to use perspective, shading, and all of the subtle nuances that make up the art of painting.

How long does it take to "master" the basics of any art? Notice that I use "quotes" around the word "master". This is because when you get right down to it, you NEVER "master" anything. You get more adept at it, but you never can perfect it. Those who say that you've mastered something should really get out more. This process never ends. the question remains: how long does it take to, shall we say, get your basics to a level that you can express yourself in you art? Five minutes? I don't think so! Five years? Not unless you're a total genius. Try ten to two hundred years. It never ends in your lifetime.

The point of any art is to express yourself. Words don't express the arts. As Isadora Duncan said: "If I could say it, I wouldn't have to dance it." This is where art critics totally miss reality. Art is the highest form of human expression precisely because it cannot be put into words. Please bear this in mind when you decide to work your art. The point of expression? The outcome of expression?

12/19/01

I grew up as a musician and a martial artist. From early in my endeavors, I noticed the similarities between the two arts. I've come to understand that the connection comes from the "art" designation of both forms. There are, of course, many other art forms. Since my purview is in music and martial arts, I use these two art forms as the basis of my discussions.

Both art forms involve many "styles" and components. Music has periods of Baroque, Renaissance, Jazz, Rock, and others with subgroups of style and performance. All have the same ultimate purpose to the performers. Self expression. The same goes for the martial arts. There are many styles such as Karate, Kenpo, Aikido, Shintaikido, Wu Shu, Northern and Southern Kung Fu, Jujitsu, Tai Chi Chuan, Judo, Tae Kwon Do, Tang Soo Do, along with hundreds of different schools of thought for each of these "styles". Included in the martial arts are practices of meditation, Chi Gung, and many "mental" games and methods of performing amazing feats which are intended to increase one's skill in the art.

We are all human. One of the things that makes us unique is our ability to express ourselves through complex symbolism. I don't intend to get into a discussion of other animals expressing their needs through symbols such as barking or facial expressions. Those are real different from a beautifully executed symphony or kata. Those who can't tell the difference or who want to make comparisons or who say it is only a matter of degree are not the subject of this discussion.

Expression. What is the point? I believe that we all have a need to communicate. With what? With Whom? Well, with all who will listen and give us a response. In the martial arts, we communicate with the attacker. Ideally, this is by controlling his actions. We can reveal our spirit by destroying him, or by showing him that his actions are not correct by controlling him without hurting him; that is, controlling him with compassion.. The second way is the way of Aikido and Shintaikido (and other arts, ultimately). Our actions (how we express ourselves) are an indication of the nature of our spirit.

In meditation, we first communicate with ourselves. This is done through our internal instructions and dialog. "Breathe in through my nose", "straighten my spine", "watch my breathing". Soon, we grow tired (perhaps) of our internal dialog and begin to quiet the chatter. Then, we begin to communicate with something far deeper than our conscious mind. This is what the zen people call "original mind". It doesn't talk. It doesn't need to talk, because it has a direct connection to everything. Look, Ma, no wires!

I believe that this connection to the "source" is the ultimate purpose of all art. It is the same for martial arts, music, and any other art. When we have this connection, we can allow genius to appear. We can't make it happen. The best that we can do on our way to this connection is to "master" the basics. Train, train, train...

"Self expression"? What is self?

12/26/01

It has been said that the point of the sword is not to kill the enemy, but to kill the ego. While it is true that most training in the martial arts is geared toward being victorious in combat, we find time and time again statements from warriors that they come to a place where they seek and in some cases find an enlightenment of sorts. I believe that in the old days of warriors and life and death struggles, this quest came from killing other people. Having never taken another human being's life, I can't imagine the deep metaphysical questions that would arise in anyone (psychopaths excepted) engaged in the act. I believe that engaging in an actual life and death fight would bring out the most basic of instincts: survival. Having to struggle with the question of you or the other guy is something that I wouldn't wish on anyone. And yet, we train for the answer to this question. In Shintaikido, we sometimes say that training is a matter of life and death. This is a good approach to the martial artist's work, although it is totally different from the real act of combat. Even though it cannot be the same as the act, this kind of training is all that most people can get involved with. And it does bring us closer to the answers than doing nothing.

The self and the ego are the same. In real conflict, you have exactly no time to think. This leaves you with only your reactions as honed by your training. If you don't train, your "natural" reactions may work out okay. In the martial arts, we like to think that training changes these natural reactions into something more effective... So now lets say that you've trained for thirty years, have been in combat, taught people to do what you do, and have thought about not much else while managing to stay more or less sane. You will find (guaranteed), that if you can leave your "self" out of the engagement, that you will do much better. That is to say, if you allow your ego to enter the party, your ego's thinking will trip up your reactions and perhaps cause your death. Ouch! But losing the ego means non-attachment to life and death! What to do? Train.

Now... let's see how this applies to other arts.

Martial arts: training - losing the ego - survival - (enlightenment?)

Music: training - losing the ego - playing an incredible solo - (enlightenment?)

Painting: training - losing the ego - painting an incredible picture - (enlightenment?)

Name your art: training - losing the ego - doing something great - (enlightenment?)

Or not. Please understand some things.

1. Enlightenment isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It comes and goes as a state of mind or being. Don't let them take your money while they tell you otherwise.

2. You can do great stuff without losing the ego. You just may not be as well liked because you might try to take all of the credit.

3. It's entirely possible to go into a state of losing the ego during a performance, without achieving enlightenment. And it's still great.

4. It's entirely possible to lose the ego, be enlightened and still suck.

I prefer to help other people to find their way down the road without filling their heads with fantasies about walking on water, flying, and defeating 100 attackers while blind. What matters is teaching people how to train. Remember, this "training stuff" is really interesting and intrinsically good because it is truly about love, who we are, god, and making the connection. My message is simply that it is possible to travel the road without the entourage and its separate agenda.

12/27/01

Breathing... Breathe in. Breath out. Sounds easy, yes? We do this from the time that we are born. As infants, we breathe naturally. Then, somewhere along the line, we get told how to breathe (usually incorrectly), and with the stress of being human, we use our breathing to increase our tension rather than to relieve it. In this installment, I'd like to talk about how to breathe and how not to breathe, and when to do each.

First, let's talk about some facts.

1) Air goes in your lungs. It does not go into your stomach (unless, of course, you intend to belch), or your shoulders, or your dantien, center, or anywhere else. Some teachers will tell you to breathe from the stomach or to stick out your stomach when you breathe in. Usually, they say, "use your diaphram". Here's a little known secret: Your diaphragm is mostly white stuff (not muscles) and what little muscle is there is of the involuntary kind.

2) Here's how your diaphragm (we've been on fluoroscopes) works: When you begin to inhale, your diaphragm pops down an inch or so to equalize pressure in the lungs and abdomen. Once it moves, it remains stationary until you begin to exhale, whereupon it pops back to its original position. If (as in the case of trumpet playing) you apply a stronger push to the lungs upon exhalation, with resistance in the "air column", the diaphragm pops up a bit higher. Once the breathing cycle is complete, the diaphragm returns to its original position. It's involuntary. Even if you could control it as some sort of cosmic exercise, what would you change in its behavior, and why? We're talking about relearning to do things naturally here.

3) Inhaling and exhaling are most naturally controlled by the back muscles and those in the abdomen. The chest should be up to increase wind power and thereby Ki. You never see a great opera singer all hunched over on the "big note". That's because this method works and their great endurance happens because this way of breathing is natural. If it wasn't, believe me when I say that the singer or wind player would soon run out of gas and not be capable of completing the concert.

As we continue this discussion, I'd like to touch on the dangers of breathing any other way than the right way. There are some pretty horrific results in the music world (hernias among the list), and in the martial arts and meditation world. You can get some pretty strange mental states in the name of "therapy". You've got proper and exactly sufficient oxygenation and you've got hyperventilation. Think about it... the choice is yours as to which is more beneficial to the task at hand.

12/29/01

Once you have a basic idea about how to breathe correctly, you must practice it. The best way, by far, is to use breathing as the focus of your daily meditation. I use the term "Kokyu Zazen". "Kokyu" means "breath" in Japanese and "Zazen" means "seated meditation". The technique is to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. You should make a slight constriction in the throat (I call this the "Darth Vader" sound). This constriction will enable you to lengthen the duration of each inhalation-exhalation cycle. It also makes it easier to focus on the breath because of the sound. Your goal is to increase the duration of each complete cycle to one minute. As you do this, you will approach a state where you are aware (not controlling) of the breath. With daily practice, this will eventually lead you to emptiness. "Nothing special" as they say.

There are some very useful exercises that you can do in addition to the regular Kokyu Zazen meditation. If you add some force (I said "some") to your breathing, especially the exhalation, you will find an increase in power. This comes from increased oxygenation. This is a very subtle technique, but it is one responsible for an amazing amount of energy and endurance. With your breathing cycle increasing in duration, your body becomes better able to utilize what little oxygen is present, and over a period of years, there will be a marked increase in cardiovascular efficiency. This is a building process that takes place in the body over time and cannot be "learned".

In any physical art, the body's ability to perform a task is improved only by training. Proper physical training, guided by the mind, will eventually lead to the spirit being in control. This is where it gets really cool! After years of working your basics, you can truly be creative. It doesn't happen in a flash. It just gets better over time. The interesting part about this process is that the less you use your mind to produce results, the better those results become. I think that this has something to do with God and becoming one with God.

Always remember that you are human and therefore you can't have it all the time or every day. This stuff is like food. You just can't eat 24 hours a day. You can't do anything 24 hours a day unless you're dead. Get it? It's okay. It's what makes us human and that's okay, too. Oh, yeah, you live 24 hours a day, right? Right! So what? Anyone can do that, including your pet salamander. Being human and obligated to be a caretaker of this place is a little more involved than just living. So spend a certain amount of time in proper meditation and get on with the task of living and taking care of your surroundings and the people that you meet.

12/30/01

Taking care of your surroundings and the people that you come in contact with is, in my view, the most important task in anyone's life. The Buddhists call these people Bodhisattvas. I strive to be this way in my life. I figure that helping others is more important than helping myself because through helping others, I am doing more good in the world. I went through a period of "needing" lots of stuff, toys, or whatever else you wish to call possessions. From teaching over the years, I found that my joy and fulfillment was far greater after performing acts of teaching and seeing the faces light up at the moment of realization. It's really cool!

The highest goal in the martial arts is to protect the attacker. This usually sounds weird to those engaged in destructive mindsets. I hear statements like: "once you've touched me, you've given me permission to destroy you". I believe that it is possible to control someone without hurting them, I've seen it work and I've done it in real life. The interesting part was that after I put this guy on the ground and then let him up, he was like my best buddy. I know that if I had beat the crap out of him, he would have come looking for me with all of his friends and with weapons (equalizers), and I would have been in deep doo-doo. (is that how you spell "doo-doo"?)

Its odd how some martial arts purport that conflict must be met with overwhelming force and others say that you must always be kind. I believe in the middle road. At the beginning of your training, survival through self-defense is paramount. As you become more proficient, you will find yourself able to do only as much as is necessary to prevail. As you get even better at your art, you can then aspire to the highest ideals. O-Sensei Morihei Uyeshiba of Aikido did this. I believe in going down a similar road to the one he traveled. He trained in many arts and synthesized them into Aikido. This works for me but not for others and that's okay too.

Perhaps you could strive to make your life, and whatever you do, and whatever art you practice to be an action of compassion and assistance; even for the "bad guy". It's funny, but it really does work out for the best most of the time.

1/6/02

It's the new year. We all hope that this year will bring with it a more caring approach to life. Everyone is unique and must follow their heart when it comes to the way in which they approach life. I only hope that their approach doesn't cause more suffering to others. I believe that its important to lead others on the path of caring. It really doesn't take much training to learn how to help. All you need to do is ask what you can do. It's the part about leading that can be difficult. If you don't know where you're going, then instead of leading, you will be exploring the same path as those whose hand you have taken. But we are all unique and we all follow separate paths! How can you go down the same path as me? And if every moment is new, then how can I know the way?

So, I don't know the way and I'm going to lead you, and you're path is different than mine right? Hmmm... What's up with that? Well, the answer is in the intent of our actions. Perhaps where I'm taking you is both familiar to me and something that you need. Perhaps I need to learn from the journey also. Perhaps I need to learn from you. It's all good, as they say. As long as our intent is pure. My intent is to help. I learn the most from helping. So thank you for letting me help you. Compassion has a lot to do with this whole thing, too. If I intend to help you without compassion, then the outcome has no humanity or higher power. I must approach my actions with an attitude of compassionate assistance. And I must perform these acts completely with all of my being and more if I can find it.

Our daily meditation practice (or the martial arts) is an ideal way to learn to act with our whole self. Once you have the ability to lose yourself (or find yourself, yes?) in the act of meditation, then you can apply that ability to other aspects of your life. Step by step. I've found that this approach, in the words of the sales guys, "produces results". What could be better than helping someone with loving kindness and doing it with all of your mind, body, and spirit. Please e-mail me if you have an answer to that one.

1/15/02

It's gratifying to feel that our training will make us take the time to help others. But often, when we get down to it, we're no different than before. I tend to be a thinking type of person. My mind finds ways to improve my physical reactions and then I train my body to make the correct moves. In Shintaikido and Ki-Works, we work on making the connection between what we learn physically and what we want to do emotionally or (in this case) spiritually. Our dealings with other people are mostly based on our spiritual nature.

I've spent most of my life (and so have you, I'll wager) trying to improve my spirit so that my dealings with other people go smoothly and have a positive outcome for all concerned. But, as so many could attest to, it just doesn't work out that way sometimes. While we know that there are folks who are just plain impossible to please, I've got this dream that it could somehow be accomplished. I've found that if I maintain a compassionate approach to my relationships, I can usually make it work for both of us.

How does one work it out so that they're consistent in their approach (or proper state of mind)? I've found that the best way to do this is to have a daily practice which allows me to feel exactly what the proper state of mind is. Then I can snap into it (most of the time) as soon as I find myself straying from it. My daily practice consists of breathing meditation. I also endeavor to keep a strong flow of positive energy between myself and those I meet. Energy must flow both ways. It's about compassion, empathy, and a consistently helpful attitude.

The hardest part of all of this is something that happens almost every day in my line of work. This is interacting with someone who has negative energy, vibes, attitude, their own agenda, and/or who just doesn't like me. You see, I teach large groups of people. I teach the children of parents who pay the tuition at my dojo. Since I must keep true to the path, it is not always a pleasant experience for those who have a different idea about what should occur at a dojo. As Reverend Kensho Furuya of the Aikido Center of Los Angeles taught me in his daily writings online, westerners tend to be members and willing participants in this consumer society. Some people think of a dojo like they would of a Coke machine. You put in a dollar and out comes exactly what you want: a Coke. I like to think that my dojo is a bit more complex than a Coke machine. While people come here with their own ideas about what they want, I can only teach them what they need in order to guide them on the path to learning the Martial Way or meditation techniques. I can't dance somebody else's dance. I've tried and it has never worked for either of us.

1/20/02

Control in the martial arts is a very important aspect of training. Control is also important in daily life. In the martial arts, control has two main subjects: yourself and your attacker. Control of yourself comes from self-discipline and training. This means not letting your anger and ego get the best of you. By controlling you more base impulses, you will stay out of trouble more often than by being a tough guy. This is a simple reason to train for someone who can't be polite. It's pretty basic and I've seen it help those who have no social graces to function better in this world. Those who begin with the ability to be polite and respectful from the beginning are able to avoid being "stupid" (as in: no street smarts) when faced with a threatening situation. This is good. This allows us to grow to the point where we can help others without our ego getting in the way.

Control of your attacker? Now, that's a different situation. If you're a barbarian or have a need (as in a life threatening situation to your family) to control the attacker by hurting them, you can incapacitate them with strikes or worse. If, however, you're training with your partner in class, it's just not cool to break things on them. This is where the "art" part of "martial art" comes in. The idea is to be helpful to them so that they will move in the direction of your choice. Go slowly for at least the first 5000 times on a technique. Do not hit them. It's pretend! If you need to actually strike another person in real life, don't worry, you'll know how. I've seen too many injuries to believe otherwise. I'd rather look inept and slow than hurt someone who is kind enough to let me use his body for my training.

You can apply these same concepts to your daily life. Control yourself to create a positive outcome. Control your partner by moving slowly enough so as not to hurt them. This takes years of practice and skillful application of technique. It mainly takes a compassionate and respectful approach to others and their needs.

1/21/02

What is respect? In my view, respect is intimately connected to nurturing. It is also a matter of abiding by the appropriate rules which apply to any relationship. When I began training, I learned that my relationship to Robert Nadeau Sensei required that I behave in an extremely polite manner. I addressed him as "Sensei" and did what he asked me to do without question. There's a lot of trust involved in the student-teacher relationship. We trust our teacher to guide us on the path (that we are unsure of) in a manner that our teacher knows is the best for us. Over the years, we come to see that what we thought we wanted was perhaps not what we needed. A good teacher will "hang in there with us" (as Patricia Hendricks Sensei said) in spite of our incorrect interpretations of the next step. I've learned that this approach to teaching will always create competent students. Those who don't have trust and respect will not be able to learn anything other than the "moves". They never attain an understanding of the essence of what these messages are about. And they either get so obnoxious that they are asked to leave or they give up on their own when they finally realize that their ideas about reality are not going to be influential on the way that the dojo is run. It's so sad to see this. I always maintain the hope that these people will find some measure of tolerance in their outside world, along with something that will perhaps wake them up to the truth of the teachings that they received at the dojo.

If one approaches relationships in a "nurturing" manner, then people normally respond in kind. As a teacher and as a student, I endeavor to help my partner to accomplish the goal of the moment. If I'm being a student, I do what the teacher asks of me in the best way that I can. Sometimes the "rules" require that I not ask a lot of questions. In these situations, I believe that "too much analysis causes paralysis". I simply do what the teacher asks of me in the best way that I can. I try not to be in a rush to get to the end. Also, my teacher may be trying to get only one point across. You see, I know this stuff because I teach and I'm a student. If I taught everything that I could think of on each technique, each time, all at once, then nothing would be learned or remembered. Teaching and being a student require (by definition) a relationship. If both parties approach the task with care and respect, then something magical can happen. My best experiences as a student and as a teacher were when we worked together to make something happen.

1/27/02

WHY PEOPLE TRAIN

People enter the world of martial arts training for as many different reasons as there are people. I began because my mom enrolled me in a city Aikido program with Robert Nadeau Sensei for the summer of 1967. I liked it, so I kept with it. I was a kid. I didn't have reasons like: "I am seeking enlightenment", or "I want to learn to defend myself", or "I wanna be like Bruce Lee". It made me feel good. It made me feel like I was cool. And why do you train? Perhaps you've verbalized reasons like: "I want to get some exercise" (so go to a gym), or "I'm interested in self-defense" (so take a self-defense class), or "I wish to achieve satori" (Huh?).

The fact is, you train in a martial ART. All arts (music, painting, martial, etc.) have some deep similarities. They expand us beyond the boundaries of our minds and bodies. They are the interaction between ourselves, and in the case of martial arts and music, another person or persons. I spent 30 or so years as a professional trumpet player and was constantly struck by how much music and the martial arts were so similar in their overall structure.

With talk and theory as a basis of your instruction (in music VS martial arts):

You learn your basics (scales, how to produce a tone VS stances, how to step off the line)

You learn to put the basics into a form (simple tunes VS combinations of moves)

You learn to interact with another person (written group compositions VS techniques with a partner)

You learn to improvise with others in different situations (improvised jazz music VS randori, sparring, jiyu keiko)

The last part about improvising is the tough one. There are many "styles" that don't really get to this aspect, and yet THIS IS THE MOST CRUCIAL PART OF YOUR TRAINING. If you don't learn to flow with the attack as it changes (and you can be sure it will change) you will have nothing but a set of moves to get trophies with. Ever wonder how many trophies the shaolin monks or O-Sensei Morihei Uyeshiba won? None. Get it? Of course you do.

FOR SOME, IT GETS DEEPER

Once you've been doing the improvising part of your training for a number of years, then you may experience the finer aspects of human existence, like doing a "technique" on your uke without knowing what happened. Nobody got hurt, and neither one of you was aware of what had just taken place. It'll scare you the first time if you're one of those people who needs to be in control, but after it happens a few times, you'll get over your "stage fright" (and your need to control it). You see, it feels really different and good in a way. You can't make it happen. Some folks make it out to be an experience that will change your life forever and constantly keep you in a state of enlightenment. But it's really like anything else, you have to keep at it through your training. All worthwhile human endeavors are the result of hard work.

So, why do you train? It doesn't matter. If you enjoy it, and the way it makes you feel, that may be enough. If you keep at it for many years, you may find that the rewards are better than you ever imagined. You will definitely find that they are totally different than you originally thought.

1/28/02

Do what your teachers tell you to do. You will learn at a later time just how to fit it into your physical, mental, and spiritual makeup. I always thought that my teachers did everything for a reason, and it was my job to figure out why through practice. We cannot change the results of thousands of years of teaching practices just because our teachers press one of our internal buttons. Training is meant to remove those buttons that are built on ego. It is ego that slows us down and confounds us. Kajukenbo has a saying: "leave your ego outside the door". The Japanese warriors would say that the purpose of the sword was not to kill the enemy but to kill the ego. Please reflect on this the next time you feel a need to trip yourself up in your training.

2/5/02

You came here to learn, right? Or did you come here to teach? I make a living (you call this a living?) helping people with what they need to learn. There is a huge difference between what you may want and what you need, with one very important exception. That is simply if you want to learn what I have to teach. Everything else is a roadblock to your learning.

I have students who fight me all the way in their training. In the old days, they would be gone in a minute, but I believe that it is my calling to help them on the path. So I let them stay, up to a point. My only recourse is to tell them what is required of them along the way and if they do what is asked of them, they make it to the appropriate level.

It kind of makes sense, in a way, that some would hinder their own progress by fighting the inevitable. This is because they're enrolled in a martial art class and think that it's about fighting. So they fight with me about how techniques go, about how I teach, about how fast or slow they're learning, about how everyone else is the problem...

I love helping people. I even love helping those who would disagree with the truth of my message. They, more than anyone else, need what I have to give. This should be a tip for those teachers who remove the annoyances from their classes. Although, sometimes you can't avoid asking certain people to leave as a result of a business decision.

2/7/02

Sometimes when we teach, we approach the class with a totally positive, relaxed attitude. And then, all of a sudden, someone gets really obnoxious and disrespectful. This happens in life all of the time, right? You're having a great day, being positive and feeling like helping and giving everything you've got to anybody who will have it and BAM! Some one gives you a rotten look and says (in so many words) that you're a jerk! You think: "Wait a minute! I'm trying to help here!"

So what do you do? First, it's important to realize who is putting out the negative energy (it's not you) and second, to figure out how can you help this person to get over being negative. In the martial arts, the correct attitude of students is pretty cut-and-dried. They must be overly respectful and approach their training with open minds. This means trusting that their Sensei knows what he or she is doing. Sometimes I will teach a technique in a different way just to make a point about balance or position. If a student tries to change what I'm doing, then they can't learn what I'm teaching. If they do it in a disrespectful fashion, then we have a totally different issue to deal with. At this point, after I get over my shock at their ignorance (I do make the "rules" of the dojo very clear) I either stomp on them (if they need it) or patiently explain what they need to do. Sometimes, they just don't get it. I try to be patient.

In the world outside of the dojo, the "rules" are different. Sensei is not in the same position of leadership. In these cases, I try to be patient and either kill them with kindness or extricate myself from their presence as quickly as possible. Yes, it's true that there are some people who cannot be placated except by "winning" a feeling of total superiority at the expense of others. With these folks, you'd best leave fast. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they're just having a bad day and they've decided that you're responsible.

I try to look at all relationships in terms of energy. Positive energy reproduces as does negative energy. Which kind you you extend?

2/16/02

Positive energy. When we are around people who are open and positive, we are drawn into them. I spent last night interviewing and watching the Aikido of Patricia Hendricks Sensei, my Aikido Sensei. What an amazing person! When she talks about Aikido, there is a readily apparent love for the art that completely engulfs the listener. Her answers led to more questions and like any true art, the result was a sense of wonder and endless exploration. I couldn't help but realize that this is what it's all about. Any great endeavor is one that has no end. We spend our lives in the quest for some truth about our art. The only way of unobstructed learning that I've found which really and truly works is to be positive and open to all possibilities. This is tempered by my beliefs and knowledge, of course. But it is also guided by my imagination and my attitude.

As we get more involved over the years, we begin to have moments of clarity in our art. This can happen only with a correct daily practice. But when it happens, it is as though the sky just opened up and the sun shined through after a dark storm. There are words like epiphany, enlightenment, and satori, to describe this moment. However, these descriptions pale in comparison to what just happened. With a positive, open approach, we can gain more access to these changes in our level of awareness.

Please find a daily method of training which will point you in the correct direction of positive experience. It would seem that everything else is just a series of roadblocks to your growth as a human being.

2/24/02

Doesn't the physical stuff become boring? Does it have a final point after which there can be little or no improvement? Getting older certainly has something to do with this. Our view of what we do is entirely based on our own perceptions and beliefs.

When I teach kids, I frequently hear them say, "okay, I've got that technique, what's next?". They usually barely have the basic moves figured out. At best, they've got the technique in their head, and can remember it as I taught it. So what's next? Being kids, it's okay to teach them another technique. The real benefits of training are unavailable to kids because they don't think like adults. Once an adult has the moves figured out, there are hundreds of nuances, both physical and mental, that we can teach them. This is what keeps the physical stuff from becoming boring. If someone is not open to the possibilities, then all I can do is to show and explain that there is more.

So, what am I really teaching? I'm teaching people how to learn. I'm teaching people how to open their hearts and minds to the possibilities of every action. I'm teaching people about how their attitude is in complete control of the results of their interactions with the world around them. Nothing, and I mean nothing is boring if you are interested in learning more about it. When you raise your hand in front of you, what's happening? Why did you raise your hand? What muscles did you use, and did you use unnecessary muscles to perform the action? Can you raise it exactly the same way again? I don't think so! It's impossible to do the same thing exactly the same way twice! Did you know that? How was your Ki involved in raising your hand? These are basic questions. There are more complicated questions, like how did raising your hand affect those around you? Where did your Ki go when you raised your hand and what did it do to the world? Strange questions, perhaps, but very important ones if we are to live in a place where there are other people with feeling spirits.

When does the physical stuff become boring? Well, when you become boring. I hope that I'm not hurting anyone's feelings, but if we are to keep learning and growing, we certainly must stay inquisitive regarding our passions.

2/25/02

Teaching Adults is different than teaching Kids. The main difference is in the goals. Kids, as I'm sure you've noticed, are very immediate in their goals. Some have a fairly long attention span, but for the most part, they are able to concentrate on one thing for no more than a couple of minutes. This is okay, because they will develop a sense of clarity as they get older. The goals for kids tend to be having fun, being creative, and getting rewards. I try to make the classes fun with games relating to the martial arts and the techniques that they must learn. I encourage them to be creative in their application of the principles that I teach. They are rewarded for their correct efforts by receiving colored belts for passing tests. Beyond all that, the trick is to teach them the martial way with all of the respect, self-discipline, and hard work that it takes to reach the next level. A prerequisite for this is an interest on the student's part. I can't make someone like what we do at this dojo, and I've been called one of the best at working with kids. I just do the best that I can at keeping the training on a continuous track.

Adults are interesting because they are able to concentrate for hours at a time on one aspect of training. In fact, developing the ability to do just that is one of the benefits of training. Whether we as adults like it or not, we have many obstacles to overcome in our own attitudes. Most people come into the dojo with a pre-conceived notion of what Shintaikido is about. I always let them tell me what they want, although I have yet to hear someone say that they want to learn Shintaikido. I think that most sensei run into this. People will enter the dojo and say that they want to learn self-defense, get a workout, get more self-discipline, or that they read a little bit about the art and liked the philosophy. These are all good reasons to train, however, students in Shintaikido or any good martial art get all of that anyway, and much more. Each art is a complete "package" of all the above, but it's mostly about the students ego and that ego's demise. In any conflict, whether it be physical or verbal, the ego is the enemy. If someone sticks it out through all of the ups and downs and seemingly endless periods of no improvement, they will prevail. Determination combined with respect and action is the only way to gain an understanding of the way. I'm not here to make it fun for adults (although I do make it fun as much as is possible). I'm here to give them the tools with which to kill their own ego and all of its near-sightedness. There is an endless universe of stuff out there to learn. And an endless supply of people who need help. Getting ourselves in a position to learn and help is the goal of training, not hurting people or the world around us.

3/21/02

How should you approach being a student? With a Beginner's Mind. This means that our preconceived ideas need to be put by the wayside. Preconceived ideas may be those which were formulated long ago or, more importantly, just yesterday or even one minute ago.

I teach principles of energy. This involves awareness of your Ki, awareness of your partner's Ki, and feeling your partner's movement and intent. The actual physical movements will be slightly different each time. There is, of course, a basic physical movement associated with each technique. I've found, however, that a problem can arise when the student gets too attached to their own technique to feel their partner's intent. Then, it ceases to be Shintaikido, and becomes nothing more than a form to be repeated over and over. The art really is a dance and it takes two people to perform this dance.

This problem of not feeling your partner can get even worse if the student becomes so attached to the verbal description of a technique that he can't feel anything but himself. The technique suddenly has no relation to the situation.

Please try to understand your teacher's message regarding principles and let your body figure out the physical movement as indicated by that principle. You will find your training has more meaning, is more fun, and will point to the infinite variations in your art.

3/27/02

"Make Big Money in the Martial Arts!!!" Ya shore! You Betchya! I get e-mail, spam, letters, flyers, brochures, and every conceivable type of ad informing me that I can make Big Money in the martial arts if I would just give them money and follow their advice. I have a question for these people. Where in the world has your understanding of the martial way (if you ever had one) run off to?

Please understand that while I'm not getting rich, I am able to pay the bills and I do have a healthy roster of students. As my friend Sensei Hans Ingebretsen said, I will die a dinosaur. These teachers, who are very slick in their presentation, start by priming me with the statement that I should run my school as a business (okay) and that I've spent more time than most doctors and lawyers learning my art (okay). While this is true, it is important to realize something else. What I learned from playing music is that I must consistently stick to my beliefs and two things will happen: #1. If I teach the same message, eventually people will find out about it and come to train. #2. I will be "happy" and successful as a result of this consistent behavior.

It is a fact that most rich folks got that way by doing something that they liked doing. "But don't you like making money?" No. Not if it means killing a dream or lying to people. Training is the bottom line. I train every day. I teach my students to train every day. I teach principles of goodness, the martial way, energy, movement, and most importantly, how to apply these principles to their daily lives. "Make Big Money in the Martial Arts!!!" NO! Make big inroads toward being a helper of others. The money is irrelevant!

4/5/02

There is always more. When we begin training, we learn the basic techniques of the art of our choice. Depending on the scope of that art, the basic concepts may number anywhere from ten ideas to thousands. It is important to note that the arts with thousands of basic techniques are not "better" or more complicated than those with only a few basics. There is always more. Even if you deal with one basic idea, that idea has an infinite number of variations, each one as important as the others. How to sit. How to breathe. How to form a stance in the martial arts. Each of these actions can never be done the same way twice. Therefore, if you do it one thousand times, it is different each time. There is a standard that you reach for according to your ideas as guided by your teacher, however the action is different each time. THIS IS GOOD! Get used to it. It's the major part of being human. Art is alive. Interactions are alive. We are alive. All of this makes living beautiful. I believe that this constant change is what we are here to learn about and eventually add to.

Robert Nadeau Sensei once posed the question: "How long does it take to learn your basics? Five years? Ten years?" Along the path of learning basics, you begin to be able to express yourself in your chosen art. There is no mastery. Only more accurate expression of your self and your "self's" interactions with the world around you. There is always more. This is not mere talk it is the way things work. It is the way it is. Get used to it and enjoy. In our goal oriented culture, this truth is one that could make your pursuit of your art a far more productive and enjoyable journey.

4/11/02

Focus. When we train, we always begin by focusing on one item of the technique. In the martial arts, this is usually the hands. Our partner punches, we block or blend or grab. It is important to train every part of our hand and arm to perform the correct movement. Next, we add footwork and body movement. All the while, we are focusing on our own physical technique and that of our partner. Sounds like an easy formula, right? Not!

Unfortunately (at least, some look at it as unfortunate), every time our partner does the "same" attack, it is a little different. AND we, as living beings, are totally and incontrovertibly incapable of doing a movement the same way more than one time. So we're left with the unavoidable fact that the formula presented in the preceding paragraph is not the solution to learning.

The answer to this apparent dilemma is that we're blessed with a mind which, if we allow it to do its job of sifting and processing the information, will work it all out for us. Focus on the task of the moment. The method of focusing is the same as learning anything. First, get an idea of what to do. Next, practice it. Next, make corrections. Next, repeat these three steps. Do this a few times or a few thousand times. The number of repetitions depends on your ability to accept your body's abilities. It tends to learn things instantly, but we just usually won't believe it and let it do its thing. If we can learn to allow the body to do what it already knows how to do, we can move on to the next task in the process of learning the whole technique.

Focusing in this way allows the recently learned parts of any technique to go on "autopilot" so that we can move on to the next parts. All of this takes trust in your mind's deeper connections to your body and spirit. Now, did you ever notice that the messages of most of the teachers of arts tend to be the same? Some will describe the "letting go" of our set beliefs as giving our trust over to something else, be it God or our inner self or the body's knowledge. It's really the same for all. Only the language changes. Consider what works for you and go with it.

Focus. Train. Then let go and move on.

4/28/02

What are you getting ready for? I just went to the local convenience store here in Pacifica, CA to buy some soda pop. I happened to look over at the magazine rack. I was struck by the nature of the offerings. They had magazines for building muscles, getting a "better" figure, losing weight, guns, surfing, wrestling, getting (and keeping) a boyfriend, and dressing better. There was nothing for improving your mind. I don't get it. Is this lack of attention to anything but outward appearance all that people are interested in today? While I'm no fashion plate, I do clean up fairly well. I consider my best attributes to be my ability to be polite, attentive, and to help people feel comfortable around me. No wonder we see so many folks today who look great but are bereft of any of the surface or internal good graces of manners, tact, and consideration that used to be important. I tell kids that if they are polite and respectful, it will be much more likely that they will get what they want. This applies to adults, too. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar! No, I'm not calling anybody a fly! I just dumbfounded at the shallow nature and lack of understanding of a corporation that pushes magazines which serve no purpose other than to "dumb down" the people of our world. Ya know, we're really not that stupid!

Gee, there must be something more important than how we look, eh?

I've found that one of the main things that's great about martial arts training is that it is a microcosm of the real world. In the dojo, if you are disrespectful, you cannot advance in rank. In the real world, if you are disrespectful, you won't have anyone to talk to. People will avoid you. Isn't it nice that those who are disrespectful in the dojo aren't immediately removed from the class. We do allow them to continue training (up to a point) in the hope that they will hear what is being said and come around to a more productive way of thinking and behaving.

So, what are you getting ready for? Hopefully, it won't take too long to get yourself physically presentable so that you can get to the more important business of improving your mind, spirit, and relationship to the world! I don't know about you, but I'm getting ready for the next lesson! I want to be able to allow it's message enter my brain without any impediments. Especially those that call out to me, saying things like: "how do I look?" or "do these pants make my butt look too big?". It really does sound silly, doesn't it? Let's train, instead.

5/11/02

There is a favorite saying that I like to use: "We see the world not as it is, but as we are." This is especially important in the dojo. I view this saying as not just for my view but as applying to my partner's view. When we think that we're doing a technique gently on a partner, and they say that it's too hard, we should believe them. Students come to my dojo to learn "how to learn", whether they know it or not. I sincerely hope that everyone can return to train without fear or injury.

The responsibility for how a technique goes is mainly that of Uke. As long as the person performing the technique knows it well enough, Uke should go along with what is supposed to be happening. Otherwise, injury may occur. Nage (the defender), should never force a technique with an uncooperative Uke. If Uke is fighting the technique, Nage should ask Uke to relax so that Nage can lead Uke through the motions. If Uke will not relax or go with the correct motion, Nage should choose to perform the technique much, much slower and leave out any portions that may injure Uke like high falls. "Just load 'em up", I always say.

This whole concept of caring for your partner by not being overly concerned whether a technique is going to work is a very important concept. I've seen guys try to force a move on their partner before I could get to them and the result is always injured body parts, or egos, or understanding. Please use your mouths when training and be extremely cautious of your fragile partners. Yes, people are fragile. I've learned over the years how incredibly easy it is to hurt or destroy another human being. In the dojo, we're a family, and we must care for our brothers and sisters. Train carefully and gently, always adjusting your technique to the level of your partner's ability. Err on the side of caution and safety.

6/11/02

In a recent meeting that I had with Robert Nadeau Shihan, of Aikido, he told me that the body likes to move. I'd like to share some of his insights with you, and add some observations of my own. We were talking about movement as an expression of the base and energy field. Nadeau Shihan remarked that even as infants, we like to move. He said that before we gain a conscious mind, our bodies know what to do. With his guidance, I gained a better understanding of our task as grown-ups to return in some way to that state. We talked about many other ideas, but this is the one that I'd like to focus on in this entry. Nadeau Shihan has the ability to consistently communicate his unique and profound viewpoint. I remain humbled always in the light of this man's perceptions.

Whenever we learn a physical movement, it is our goal to make it a part of ourselves. This can come through practice. However, getting the form of the movement worked out is just a start. Ordinarily, in the movement arts, we repeat the action until we can begin to receive the benefits of the action. First come the physical benefits such as alignment, self-defense (if it's a martial arts move), and power. Next come the mental benefits such as understanding and incorporation of lines and curves of direction, relaxed movement, and meditative qualities. After years of practice, spiritual benefits may emerge, such as selfless dedication to others and the world around us. This aspect cannot be explained, as it comes only through training.

What Nadeau Shihan helped me to understand better was that the form of the movement is partially an entity unto itself. He sometimes says that "the form knows itself". In Aikido and all martial arts, our reactions are said to come from training. What Nadeau Shihan's lesson stressed for me was that the Mind-Body-Spirit "system" knows what to do. The purpose of our training is to figure out how to let it happen. It's a very human balancing act. We must train our Mind, Body, and Spirit to work together in the performance of new and seemingly complicated movements, while at the same time letting the "system" do what it knows best. I believe that there is no other way to this goal than to train, all the while working toward letting go. Sounds like a lot of life's endeavors, doesn't it? And I am very grateful to you for your insights, Robert Nadeau Shihan. Thank You!

Dear friends,

On Sunday, January 12, 2003, Sifu Raymond Gardner passed away. Thank you for your kind remarks and remembrances about him. I knew him to be an exemplary martial artist, not only for his great technical ability, but for his generous spirit. I've always believed that the primary goal of training is to cultivate character and develop a kind and caring approach to others. Raymond was an inspiration to all that met him in these most important attributes. I know that he had a tremendously positive influence on everyone. And I'm truly gratified that he chose me as one of his teachers. We all have much to learn from his life about the finer aspects of being human.

Please be kind to each other,

Kaiso Dave Bendigkeit

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